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“A feeling of disappointment resulting from the discovery that something is not as good as one believed it to be.”
“The loss or destruction of idealistic beliefs.”
“The condition of being disenchanted.”
“Being dissatisfied or defeated in expectation or hope.”
“We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.” – Tyler Durden, Fight Club
This age is one of deliberate confusion, misleading, illusion and false dreams.
It is so by design.
On the one hand, you’re told from childhood just how special you are- how unique, how interesting, how beautiful and how much potential you have to do anything you want, be anything you’d like.
That you can be an astronaut or a movie star.
On the other, you’re told that you’re just fine how you are.
“That’s not how the real world works.”
That you have to be reasonable, or lessen your expectations and go with the program.
It’s a conflicting message that creates hope with one sentence and then mercilessly crushes it out like a cigarette butt with the next.
At the same time, you’re consistently shown “behind the scenes.” Everything is fake, and corrupt and ugly and shallow and plastic…except this, look over here, it’s real, it’s new, it’s the next BIG THING.
The whole of it is one constant bait and switch built up to keep you dissatisfied. Emptied out. Hollow. And always, always reaching, even though you know better, even though you’re bitter and cynical and hopeless, toward the idea that maybe, just maybe –
This will be the THING. This will be that puzzle piece that fits and makes me feel complete, or magical, or fulfilled.
But, most of us know this is a false hope.
It won’t be.
When we grasp it, it will crumble into the garbage and shit it always was, and the slick corporate glamor will fall away and we will be left holding another expensive and oh-so-temporary pacifier that’s now used up.
And we need another hit. One more sweet little bump of dopamine or distraction from the emptiness we are living.
But some of us were not made to repeat this cycle. We see the falseness, and the plastic, and yet, still – which way do we go? Which one of these thousands of roads is the right one?
The first step upon going cold turkey from the narcosis of the lotus eaters that has been injected into our hearts and brains from birth is to reject the idea that there is an answer to this question that exists somewhere outside of ourselves.
I don’t mean this as a nihilistic statement – that nothing is true and we are living in a kind of solipsistic universe where only our thoughts are real.
I mean it in a hopeful way, filled with power and truth: you hold within you the answer to this greatest of questions already.
Even now, at this moment.
It is not out there awaiting you.
It is living in your heart and blood and cells.
It cannot be bought, nor sold, nor destroyed. It cannot be given to you nor taken away from you.
Our first goal after freedom from illusion is to free ourselves from disillusionment.
Too often, discovering the falsehoods of the world can lead us to the thought that everything is false. That nothing is real, or sacred, or valuable, or meaningful.
This way lies true damnation, because this sort of thinking will turn us into a nihilistic materialist who believes that there is nothing mythic, nothing spectacular and monstrous and beautiful and holy worth believing in.
This is a lie, and it, too, is part of the “program.”
By constantly selling things to believe in, and then exposing them as trash, charlatans, pedophile politicians or profit-hungry prophets, they do the most damage to you. They reduce you to someone broken down who has lost all enchantment.
Someone who has lost their sense of awe, of belief. Of hope.
They have made you one of them. A soulless construct of consumption, mainlining death and fear, addicted to our own emptiness and sorrow.
But this is not who we are. This is not who we shall become.
We must set fire to the lie of DISILLUSIONMENT with the flaming brand of BELIEF.
Of faith, but not in the false prophets and the idolatry of the era. Our belief must be in Truth alone, in that unshakeable foundation of ourselves as the continuation of an ancient story.
The knowledge that those of us who have set out to destroy the creeping grey devil of despair belong to an order – and we must seek out this brotherhood around the world, to connect to something real and vital and living in this concrete wreckage.
We must rediscover what it means to be holy, to be righteous, to be filled with the power of the blood that runs like fire in our veins.
Where there was discord, we must create union.
Where there was disillusionment, we must create a new belief.
Where there was a foul and darkened age, we must bring about a golden one.
This first step, of casting aside the idea that nothing is real or true, is an all-important one. We must go deep within the temple of our innermost self and rediscover the Grail that lies there.
This Grail is called faith. It is the knowledge that we, ourselves, are indeed special – unique reliquaries and living, breathing and speaking shrines of righteousness and forces for good in this fearsome world.
This Grail is called sacred and true. It is the understanding that we are not alone, and we are not fighting a losing battle, but one that is destined to be victorious, because in the fight itself against the lies and injustices of the age- there is an act of victory.
This Grail is called by your name, and you must live up to thousands of years of the blood.
So, let us put away the bleak greyness of disillusionment and despair, and reject it as unmanly and unbecoming of a hero, or one who is on the road to be called as such.
Let us put it away from ourselves and know it as a cheap tin badge of so-called intellect and cleverness awarded by the drone-like servitors of this hideous machine.
Because – they were right when we were children and they told us we could become anything we wanted, and in this world, there is only one thing worth becoming, and that is a warrior.
Grasp your spurs, and take heart.
This world is ours.